A total of 64 youth attended State of the Heart Hospice’s thirteenth annual Camp BEARable for grieving children held July 12-14 at the Spiritual Center at Maria Stein. Of the total attending, only ten had any association with hospice care, stated Marlene Black, State of the Heart Hospice bereavement specialist and camp director. Sixty seven youth had signed up for camp, a record number, but three were unable to attend. Those attending camp do not need to have any association with hospice care.
“This year, we had nine youth who had lost a parent to suicide,” Black said, adding that this is the largest number she can recall attending camp. “This is a difficult loss,” she said. “The kids do not understand how a parent who loved them could take their own life. They have so many unanswered questions.” Thirty four youth had lost a parent; 21 a grandparent, three had lost both parents, two had lost an uncle, and four had lost a sibling. Black said that there were eight six-year-olds attending camp. “We have been seeing younger children in recent years,” she explained. Children are segmented into groups by age.
State of the Heart Hospice, with offices in Greenville, Coldwater and Portland, provides care to patients and families in eastern Indiana and western Ohio who are confronting a life-limiting illness. Grief support is provided to both adults and children. The camp is free and is offered to any child, six to 15 who is experiencing grief. Over the last 13 years, over 500 young people have attended the camps.
This year, a panel made of up a physician (Dr. Jim Schwieterman); a minister (Rev. Becky Erb-Strang of the New Bremen United Church of Christ), and a funeral director (Phillip Pierrie, (manager of Zechar Bailey Funeral Home in Greenville) listened to questions from the youth, then responded to them.
“This was a wonderful addition to camp,” Black said. “Those on the panel were so good at answering questions posed by the young people at their level. This was so helpful to the youth as they do not know who to go to in many instances when they have a question about the loss of someone they loved and who died. I would say this was the most successful part of camp.”
Amy Topp, Admissions Liaison for State of the Heart, attended camp as a buddy this year for the first time. Her experience, she said, “was memorable.” On Friday evening at the start of camp, Topp spoke with the youngsters about the sudden death 15 years ago of her older sister when Amy was only eleven years old. At times, she said, she was emotional while talking of her loss.
The experience of watching Amy speak emotionally about her loss at a young age, “was a good thing,” Black said. “It sent an instant message to the kids that it is okay to feel sad about the loss of a loved one and to cry.”
“As I was speaking to them, I realized what they were going through,” Topp said. “Often, someone grieving feels alone.” She noted that as the weekend progressed the children “became more open with one another, sharing hugs, and exchanging phone numbers to they could keep in contact.”
Hospices nationwide conduct camps similar to Camp BEARable. Hospice bereavement specialists believe that early intervention with grieving children can prevent problems such as drug and alcohol addiction and suicide, later in life. Camp provides a “safe” environment for kids where they are surrounded by their peers and with adults they trust. Camp is a mixture of fun and games mixed with serious dialogue. Each child is paired with a specially trained buddy who is with them for the weekend.
Chris Killian, who has been a camp buddy and has helped Black direct the camp for a number of years, said Topp’s story about her own loss and the sharing of information from the panel were significant additions to the camp experience. “Amy’s sharing set the pace as the young people saw that it was okay to show your soft side, and to show your emotions. Those on the panel shared personal stories also.” The comments from the campers at a campfire Saturday evening reflected that they had connected with both Topp and the panel, Killian added.
This year, students from a Registered Nursing class at Edison Community College helped as buddies as part of a community clinical service requirement for their degrees. Jennifer Stewart, a member of that class and a LPN with State of the Heart, attended camp as a buddy. “It certainly broadened the horizon for me and my classmates,” she said. “Daily I am working with patient care and do not see the grieving side of life, particularly how it impacts kids. Being at camp helped me both personally and professionally.”
The dates for next year’s camp are July 11-13. For information about any of the services provided by State of the Heart, visit the agency web site at www.stateoftheheartcare.org.