 |
| Pictured is Mary Ann Koesters, holding a photo of her and her mother Sally, and Hospice Bereavement Specialist Marlene Black. |
“I think Mom asked for hospice care because she knew in her heart that someone had to be here to be with me, and to help me in my grief,” stated Koesters. She found that help after her mother died in March from State of the Heart Hospice bereavement specialist Marlene Black who has been a bereavement specialist for the nonprofit agency for over 16 years.
State of the Heart Hospice provides care to patients and families in eastern Indiana and western Ohio who are confronting a life limiting illness. An important service provided patients and families is bereavement support. There is no charge for bereavement support, and families can receive these services for up to 13 months or longer after a loved one has died.
Koesters said she believed her mother was “very worried about me.” Others, she said, thought Koesters would become housebound and depressed after her mother’s death. “My mother was my best friend,” explained Koesters. Her life for several years was built around working at Crown Equipment Corporation and caring for her mother at their home in Chickasaw. An employee of Crown for 18 years, she said, “They were very supportive of me during this time.” Her father died in 1991, also under hospice care. Koesters immediately took advantage of bereavement support offered by State of the Heart and asked for help. “Without the bereavement support I got from Marlene, I would not be where I am today,” explained Koesters.
Black stated that no two people grieve the same way. She has done one-on-one sessions, group sessions, worked in schools with children and initiated the camp for grieving children called Camp BEARable. She and Koesters worked together as a team.
“Marlene led me in the right direction, suggesting books to help me in my learning experience,” Koesters explained. “She never judged me, just led me.” Black said, “When she would ask me a question, I would lead her to her answer. She had to do the work. Working through grief is a difficult process and it is a lot of work, almost a full time job.” Black and Koesters had numerous conversations, many based on the books that Koesters was given.
Having a close association with the hospice team of caregivers was very helpful, Koesters said. “The last ten days of mom’s life, hospice became like a family to me. The staff helped with pain control and supported me as a team. Having the help from Marlene was the icing on the cake with my State of the Heart experience.”
Koesters now faces the future with more confidence. She misses her mother greatly, she said, and has placed around her home a variety of reminders of her mother. In each instance it is a way to remember her “best friend” she said. “I think Mom is still looking down on me.” Adding to her memories, she added, is the fact that State of the Heart Music Therapist Brittany Scheer put a CD together with her mother’s favorite songs. “Listening to the CD brings comfort to me,” Koesters added.
Realizing that bereavement support is provided free to anyone who needs help dealing with grief, Koesters said she wants to support in some way financially, and urges others to consider doing the same. “State of the Heart Hospice is definitely a good cause. I would not change my experience with State of the Heart for anything,” she added.
She wanted to share her story with others, she explained, for two reasons “First I want to thank Marlene for helping me work through my grief, and, secondly, I want people to know that hospice offers so much support, not just for the patient, but for the family as well.”
State of the Heart Hospice has cared for families in area communities for 32 years. For more information about bereavement support or any of the services provided by the agency, visit the web site at www.stateoftheheartcare.org.